Busy life

Man oh man life is crazy. Trying to stay caught up is a challenge. Im not complaining I love a good challenge but i think I'm at the point where if I want to stay healthy and sane I'm going to have to start saying No. This is a word that isn't typically in my vocabulary and those of you who really know me know this. But get ready I think its going to become my favorite word for the next couple of weeks. Now there are things that I have committed to that I am not going to turn my back on. But as far as new things I'm going to have to say No. Im stretching myself very thin and making myself tired and on the brink of getting the bugs everyone else has luckily I have been blessed with a good immune system and haven't caught anything, but I don't want to push my luck. Between coaching baseball, playing softball, school, work, attempting to train, and volunteering at church I don't have much time to myself to spend in The Word or spend with friends. That needs to change and the quickest way is for me to say No to anything new. Hope you understand when I say I'm sorry but I can't that I really am sorry I would love to help it just isn't wise for me to.

Heart Broken

Wednesday night Xtreme (the 5th, 6th, and 7th grade ministry I volunteer in) had what we called a ministry night. Our worship band led a few songs and then the leaders split into 3 groups of prayer, (Healing, Prophetic, General) I was ask to be in the general group so thats where I went. As the leaders went to our stations Pastor Adam told the kids that we(the leaders) want to pray for them if they want healing, or an encouraging word or if they just want prayer over nothing in specific. but we wanted them to go to atleast 2 of the groups. I begin praying for these students one by one. A friends science project, grades, school, a dog, wanting to be closer to God (in my opinion typical stuff for their age then I have 2 students come up to me and ask me to pray for them one is having emotional problems is what she tells me and as I look at her she tells me "I cut myself" Not what I was expecting to come out of her mouth but I say ok Lets pray...God is so good I did not have a clue what to say to that young girl but He did and his words came out of my mouth on fire, another young lady comes up to me and says "My mom is a drug dealer and my dad is in prison for the rest of his life for murder and Im seperated from my brother" Again this is not what I was expecting Im fighting back tears so that I can let God work, His spirit flow through me and minister to these kids. I have been blessed to not have to come across difficulties like they have to be honest im not sure I would have been able to handle that when I was there age. My heart broke for these girls and as I type this tears are coming to my eyes. What did they do to get this life they have been dealt I find myself asking that question. There was also a young boy that one of the other leaders prayed for that came to her and said I just want to be able to eat every night. That should be happening anywhere much less Amarillo. Why them Lord? They are dealing with things that most people in the United States don't have to deal with. and add to the fact that these kids are 11 and 12 years old. Its so sad to see, I ask the Lord to "break my heart for what breaks yours" I think this is just a glimpse and I can barely handle it. But I want more I want to be able to do more.

I can't get these kids out of my mind and I had to put this out there if you read this please send prayers their way. That the Holy Spirit would come down on them like nothing that could ever dream up on their own, and they would know Gods love and that he is always there.

Discipline

Discipline, this is what we have been teaching our kids in Xtreme this month. When we break up into small groups I have them give me the definition for discipline - training that teaches one to obey rules and control one's behavior. Its funny the more I talk to these kids about discipline the more and more I realize I need more discipline in my life. I am by no means a saint nor do I pretend to be with these kids. I don't have a quiet time everyday like I should I don't read my bible as often as I should I don't study near as much as I should and to be quite honest I do a lot of stupid things that I know I probably shouldn't try (no not anything illegal) but things like taking jumps and running long distances without properly training and I have been very lucky to not get hurt or hurt much. But the more I talk to these kids the more I want to bring discipline into my life. Cut out the distractions and get closer to God like I was at one point in my life, then life got crazy busy and I put him on the back-burners for a while and put him up front only when in is convenient for me. But I have realized I can't do that. I need him to be first and for most the most important thing in my life for me to survive this crazy world but more importantly for me to survive this semester. I don't think I can recall a busier semester with all the things I have gotten myself involved in and all the things I want to do. Im also going to have to have discipline. Discipline to stick with my school work instead of making my way to Facebook, twitter or foursquare when Im on my homework. Discipline to read my bible every morning even if its for 5 minutes to start discipline to talk with God daily but even more important than that to listen to him and let him lead me and my life. Discipline in my training, Having 2 or 3 good runs a week, getting in the gym and getting my cross-training in or going out and getting a good cardio workout riding my bike around town or in the canyon. In Galatians 6:9 it says "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." You reap what you sow. If I study I'm going to make good grades, if i train properly I'm going to perform the way I want to, If i spend more time with God Im going to be happier because me and Him are going to be on the same page (meaning i will be in the same chapter, page, and word in the story of my life that he is and if I'm with him then I'm in the right spot which is good enough for me.

So if you read this I encourage you to ask me if I am being disciplined in my life, most importantly with my relationship with Jesus but also in those other areas of my life. You will be able to tell if I'm lying because I have been told by many that I'm a horrible liar.